(continued from previous days)
The desert way is a journey of hard work, perseverance, and tenacity. The ammas teach us that the desert becomes the place of a mature repentance and conversion toward transformation into true radical freedom. The ammas recognized and respected the diversity of call. Each of us is invited to let the ammas be our guide. We will each express this in our own unique way. Amma Syncletica told her followers,
Not all courses are suitable for all people. Each person should have confidence in his own disposition, because for many it is profitable to live in a community. And for others it is helpful to withdraw on their own. For just as some plants become more flourishing when they are in humid location, while others are more stable in drier conditions, so also among humans, some flourish in the higher places, while other achieve salvation in the lower places.
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(continued from yesterday)
This desert may initially seem barren, dull, and colorless, but eventually our perceptions start to change. The ammas teach us to sit in the desert, and soon we begin to see the sharp contrasts and the individuality of the desert landscape. The desert eventually becomes "home": the place and quality of life we come to prefer.
Our desert experience provides the space for emptiness and contrast where our values, beliefs, and passions are revealed and refined. Here we empty ourselves of our own obstacles to God. In the space of this emptiness, we encounter the enormity of God's presence. Yet our heart may feel frightened and overwhelmed in the encounter.
The ammas teach us that the desert is the place where we are forced to live with our questions along with the ambiguities and paradoxes of our life. The void begins to have depth and meaning. We hear whispers of a rich yet quiet life. We begin to perceive the subtleties of our spiritual path and we initiate an inward repatterning toward our truest self. What we believed was stillborn begins to show faint signs of life.
(to be continued)
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Many people do not seem to understand my fascination & study of the Desert Mothers & Fathers. Perhaps the following by Laura Swan may help:
For many of us, the desert is the season often called "midlife." This is the time in our life when a cacophony of feelings and unknown forces seem to converge on us. We begin to experience loneliness and depression, even in the midst of loving family and friends. Questions emerge around our choices and values. Struggles appear endless, hope seems lost, and unfulfilled dreams stare us in the face. We seem to be continually birthing questions with stillborn answers.
We become increasingly aware of grief in our life: sometimes quietly present, at other times nearly overwhelming. We grieve broken relationships, changes in our health, unwanted transitions, and lost opportunities. The image of God that we've grown up with -- and were hardly aware of -- no longer work. Old understandings of our faith tradition seem stale and irrelevant. Funerals become the time of grieving for far more than the recently deceased. The ammas exhort us to sit in this desert and let it teach us. They understood that this painful stripping must be embraced in order for healing and mature joy to emerge.
(continued later)
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I strive to follow the Rule of St. Benedict in my life and I would recommend it to anyone. However, if you are put off by the length of it and the study it requires, there is always the Brief Rule of St. Romuald:

Sit in your cell as in paradise; put the whole world behind you and forget it; like a skilled angler on the lookout for a catch keep a careful eye on your thoughts.

The path you follow is in the psalms -- don't leave it. If you've come with a novice's enthusiasm and can't accomplish what you want, take every chance you can find to sing the psalms in your heart and to understand them with your head; if your mind wanders as you read, don't give up but hurry back and try again.

Above all realize that you are in God's presence; hold your heart there in wonder as if before your sovereign.

Empty yourself completely; sit waiting, content with God's gift, like a little chick tasting and eating nothing but what its mother brings.

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Please remember in your prayers my good friends -- Benet, who is recovering from surgery Monday -- John, who will be undergoing surgery tomorrow morning. May the angels of the Lord surround and guard them. May the Holy Spirit encourage & bless them.
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DAY PRAYER & MASS

I'm off on a private retreat for four days -- recharge batteries, clear head, and most importantly, pray. Pray for those I love -- pray for those I cannot love -- pray for guidance.
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In response to my efforts at New Year's resolutions:
"I’m skeptical of New Year’s resolutions. They’re too easy to make, rarely carried out, and often cover up what really needs to change. If we’re honest, few of us really want things to be completely different. We just want life to get better, or easier. We can handle a tune-up or face-lift, but drastic change? Medication, yes; surgery, no. Reform, maybe; revolution, never." Charles Moore

Snow is God's way of saying, "Stay inside, stupid!"
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Yesterday, I met an 8-year old girl who is rounding up her friends to sell cookies so that they can send the proceeds to the victims of the Tsunami. And a little child shall lead them.
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Another funeral to attend today; a man I've known since my high school years. It brought me back to that time which seems so recent. As I looked around at the many faces of the same vintage I wondered who might be next. I even joked about it with someone who said he might be the next guest of honor. I assured him that I would certainly attend then. I know he would do likewise.
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Have you kept your New Year's resolutions so far?
I've been more careful and conservative in making my plans for this year. As a matter of fact, I'm still working on my calendar & asking the Lord to guide me as I do so.
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Resolutions for the New Year:
1. Set aside more time for prayer/spiritual reading/study.
2. Spend more time visiting/calling/writing Jesus via the lonely/homebound/spiritually hurting.
3. Eliminate whatever keeps me from #1 & #2.
4. Re ecumenism: emphasize what we agree upon rather than our differences.
5. Be open to the Lord's leading vs. my own desires.
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